Unlike any other June I've ever experienced. There are so many emotions that have surfaced....sadness, anger, grief, even joyfulness. I've been back at the Caldwell YMCA facility, teaching Yoga from 9am - 10am only on Mondays and Wednesdays, adding in Mat Pilates on Fridays at the same time. All other classes are on hold. I feel sad, I feel depleted, I am missing my "seniors" in my Chair Yoga and Silver Sneakers Cardio Circuit classes. I feel joyfulness at being able to focus and relax in my (now 1 hour) yoga class.... it feels particularly good and complete to take our time and really connect with breath and body. Most of the yogis that have returned are all my 'friends'... and I feel fortunate to have so much support. There is pressure from the YMCA administration to average at least 10 members per class... so when I dip below that... If feel discouraged, alarmed, stressed.... afraid I will lose the only class that I have managed to hang onto. I am so focused on the day to day at the Y, because we must continually encourage our members (my friends on Facebook of course) to attend our classes, they have to register on a web portal (that a lot of my "seniors" are not comfortable with doing yet) which makes it important to connect every single day with that portal to be sure I have enough people registered, that everyone gets a message about what to bring.... what we'll be doing in the next class.... my "young moms" aren't attending either, because there still is no "child care" available for members at the Caldwell YMCA....it's all so distracting. So as we lose members, and their financial support, the Y wants to cut back and not offer classes without that minimum number of members.... so in turn, it's difficult to get new classes put onto the schedule. I have "senior" members talking to me every day....or sending me FB messages... all asking.... "when is our class coming back." I want to wring my hands and cry... because I don't know what to do. I feel so lost sometimes, I feel like I am neglecting the people that I was put here to help. I'm trying to think positive about the future. How can I suggest putting a class on the schedule, only to have it canceled a week later because attendance is down. None of us are really happy with "change"... but obviously, change is inevitable. We have to adapt.... if we don't, we will be left behind.... sadly. So when my shoulder feels vulnerable.... when my teeth are excruciatingly painful.... when other things are not going on in our lives the way I think they should...... it's so difficult to concentrate.
I am looking forward to celebrating the Summer Solstice, here at the house on Saturday, the 20th of June... at 3:30pm in the afternoon with some yogi friends... for a Welcome to Summer + Happy Hour....we'll do some yoga and then have some wine and snacks... a lovely way to start summer. Please do what feels right for you. Stay quarantined if you need to, wear a mask in public if you want to, return to the Y and exercise again..... socialize with friends again if you are able. We will get through this... we must... I just know it.... and come out better on the other side....remember, growth happens after being cut... cut back like a rose, having to adjust to something different.... we will be stronger.
I love and miss you all. Namaste'